The Day's Chores
by chibi-koorime
Summary: Kurama and Hiei are gonna spend the day with me& my friends. kurama gets turned into something...unique. R&R! COMPLETE!
1. Boredom Insurance

The Day's Chores  
  
Terri: Yeah, this is my first fic ever and I thought the best way to go would be comedy. The basic story line was made up by me and my friend Grey one random day on the phone. And there shouldn't be any complaints, but hey, someone'll think of something. Kurama: You and Grey thought of this? I already have a complaint. Terri: You always have a complaint. Sorry, but you don't count. Kurama: Oo *growls and reaches in hair* Terri: OO *runs* R&R!  
  
*words* = thoughts Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or it's characters.*sniffle* I can only wish. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter One: Boredom Insurance  
  
Grey and Terri sat at the table in Suichii's kitchen, discussing the day's plans and waiting for Hiei and Bri to arrive. "Kurama! I thought you were ready to go!" Grey's voice echoed through the house. Luckily for Kurama, Shori wasn't home at the time. "I already told you! I don't want to go anywhere with you or your psychotic friends!" Kurama's voice replied back from the second floor. "Oh don't be like that! We're not that bad! Don't make us pull out the insurance!" Terri's voice threatened from the first floor. "What insurance?!?" The sound of a mumbling Kurama came down the stairs. Grey answered this time, in a false sweet voice, sure to annoy anyone. "Well, you see, Shadow and I found some oh so interesting pictures. Would you care to take a peek?" "You're lying! You don't have any pictures!" Kurama was now in the kitchen, giving the two girls a glare even Hiei would have to compete with. The two girls just laughed and started talking again. "Why is Hiei so late?" "And where's Bri?" "Knowing her she attacked him on the way here." Just then Hiei came in, glared at the two girls, and went to talk with Kurama in the living room.  
  
"Why are you obeying these bakas, Kurama?" "They say they have 'insurance' on me, but I haven't seen it." Hiei's eyes narrowed. "They said the same to me. I got a look at them. They're not lying. We really need to get rid of them." "I know we do, but we're still on probation. And you know the law forbids us from killing humans, even those with powers, without good reason." "They're damned idiots! And they're blackmailing us! You don't think that is a good reason?!" Kurama gave a small chuckle at Hiei's statement and tried to imagine him giving Koenma the same reasoning on trial. "Now you know that isn't sufficient. And you must admit, they are better than that group of rabid fangirls we ran into a couple weeks back." "Hn. I bet they set that up. If you remember, that was when we had the pleasure of meeting them." Hiei shot a glare into the kitchen where insane laughter was heard. Kurama glanced at Hiei; "They're at it again. Should we go in there? Maybe if we don't they'll forget we're here." "We don't really have a choice. But we have to destroy that damned insurance. Soon." "Agreed."  
  
"Hiei, how are you?" Terri tried her hand at staying on the fire demon's good side for once, as she was tired of being mauled daily. "Hn" Hiei looked out the window, obviously plotting an escape. His stare was broken by a nudge from the kitsune. "What do you want, fox?" Before Kurama could answer, Terri burst out in laughter. "Did you just call him socks?" Hiei gave a confused look, as Grey joined in laughing with Terri. "God, I don't know why that's so funny! Kurama- a sock! I bet he'd be soft!" "Let's see!" Before Kurama or Hiei could react, Grey used her unexplainable powers to turn Kurama into a sock.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Terri: Don't you want to see the pictures? Knowing Grey and myself, they'd probably have both Kurama and Hiei in them.heheh. But yea, should I continue? Gotta get some good, or at least interested reviews if I'm gonna put up the next chapter! 


	2. hehehehoops

Terri: I decided to combine chapters two and three since they're so short. so, yea, this chapter just shows that anyone can make a mistake. It takes a good sense of humor to find the 'silver lining'. or whatever it's called. Kurama: I'll show you 'silver lining'. *changes to youko* Terri: hmmm.what a pretty little youko. Kurama: *growls* Terri: OO *turns chibi and hides in Hiei's hair* Hiei: GET OUT OF THERE! *claws at hair* Terri: @@ R&R!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters.  
  
Chapter Two: Heheheh.Oops.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!?" Hiei demanded of the two girls. Grey chuckled nervously, "Oops." "OOPS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, OOPS?!?" Hiei was infuriated now. "Calm down, calm down." Terri was trying to regain the peace, glancing at the silvery gray sock and red one accompanying it on the floor. "Hiei, all she did was split him into his youko and human forms. Or in this case, youko and human socks!" The two girls then burst into unexplainable laughter again. Hiei began to unsheathe his katana. "Change him back! What the hell's your problem anyway?" Terri answered this one; "Well, all of my doctors just said I was special, but they all went to some happy place before our sessions were over." She looked away dramatically, "I miss them so." "Hiei, I'll change him back. Now put away your katana, mister." Grey's voice scarily resembled her mother's. Hiei had pulled out his katana completely at this point. "Or what?" Terri let out a small chuckle and glanced at Grey, "Do you think he'd make two socks or just one?" "Only one way to find out!" A second later Hiei was a sock, black of course, and somehow still cursing as it lay on the floor. "Hey," Grey looked around, "Where'd the Kurama socks go?" "Crap." Terri's eyes got big as a large variety of curses were now being heard from the laundry room.  
  
Bri came into Kurama's kitchen to find a black sock on the floor, which was somehow cursing. Confused, Bri went to inspect the sock, but looked up at the new sound of laughter and intense cursing coming from Kurama's laundry room. Leaving the sock where it was, she raced off to see what was going on. "Grey, Terri, why is there a talking sock in the kitchen? And where's Kurama and Hiei?" Still laughing, the two managed a reply that only another psychotic obsessed person like Bri could understand. ".made.socks.2 kuramas.youko stuck.dryer." The house then filled with the uncontrollable laughter of the three girls. Youko Kurama and Suichii had changed back, and now no longer socks, were stuck in the dryer. Suichii managed to squeeze out of the dryer due to his smaller size, but the youko had no such luck.  
  
"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!? GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! I SWEAR WHEN I GET AHOLD OF YOU, I'LL-!" Just then the dryer door was shut, muffling the youko's curses and threats. "He needs to cool down first." "Terri, he's gonna be pissed you shut the door on him." Grey gave her a look to remind her of all the times she was sent to the hospital by Kurama.  
  
"Eh," Terri shrugged. "Let's go check on Hiei. Come on Kurama!" "No! Change them back! And get Youko out of the dryer! My mother's supposed to be home soon!" Bri decided to try her hand at comforting, "Don't worry Kurama. We'll go change Hiei back.right Grey?" Grey sulked at this suggestion, but agreed. "Uh, yeah. I guess. If we have to." "Well, someone go pick Hiei up off of the floor, then!" Realizing the black sock she saw when she first came in was Hiei, Bri ran off in the direction of the kitchen. By the time Kurama, Grey, and Terri got to the kitchen Bri had her shoe off and was putting the Hiei sock on. She began laughing and sliding across the kitchen floor in it. Grey and Terri joined in the laughter while Kurama stood staring, clearly bewildered. Suddenly, the laughter of Bri turned to screams as the black sock caught on fire. The struggle between Bri and the removal of the Hiei sock just caused Grey and Terri to go into another fit of laughter. As soon as the Hiei sock was off of Bri, it ceased to be on fire and looked just as new as before. Kurama glared at Grey and reluctantly, she turned Hiei back to normal. An angry fire demon stood glaring at the three girls, trying to think of the most painful deaths possible and which one to kill first. Before he could act on his thoughts, a loud BANG was heard from the laundry room.  
  
Grey was the first to open the dryer door and out fell a semi-dead death plant. She shrieked and kicked it into a corner, shivering from a memory of a mauling that had been courtesy of Kurama. Youko Kurama was dazed and still stuck in the dryer, despite his recent attempt at escape. This caused the three girls to again go into a fit of laughter. Kurama, out of nowhere, got a stick and began poking the three to draw their attention back to the fact that his other half, that just happened to be a demon, was stuck in the dryer and his mother was due home from the store any second. The five decided to go into the living room to come up with a plan before the youko gathered his senses and resumed his death threats, cursing, and attempts at escape.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Terri: Hm, how should they get Youko out? I have to go ponder this. Hiei: This could take awhile.you might want to come back later. Like in a week. Terri: *still thinking* .wait a second.HEY! 


	3. Who Dunnit And How the Hell Do We Fix It...

Terri: Again, I combined chapters. Chapter five was gonna be "Hiei does the laundry"! I wrote really short ones. but now you get to meet Bill and Jill! Well, sort of. You hear of them at least. Anyway, R&R!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters.but I do own Bill and Jill! (Read on to find out!)  
  
Chapter Three: Who Dunnit? .And How the Hell Do We Fix It?  
  
"God, something is REALLY wrong with you! Why the hell did you stick us in the dryer anyway?" Kurama was actually yelling. Terri glanced at Grey; "I didn't do it!" "Neither did I!" "Don't look at me fox-boy! I wasn't even here yet!" ".Heheh.fox-boy." Both Kurama and Hiei shot Terri a glare at this. Bri perked, "I bet it was Bill!" "No, no. Bill's at my house!" Terri gasped. "It must've been Bill's twin brother Jill!" Kurama and Hiei stood gaping at the discussion that had arisen with the three girls. Hiei looked at Kurama, silently pleading for an answer. "They're not serious, are they?" "I'm not sure." Kurama continued to stare at the three who were now laughing again at the thought of Bill, or rather Jill, or whoever, putting the Kurama socks into the dryer. To get their attention, Kurama snapped his rose whip, causing Terri and Bri to come to attention, but only caused Grey to look at Kurama and the rose whip longingly. (She's always wanted one. ^^) Ignoring Grey's stare, Kurama continued, now having the attention of at least two of the girls. "We need to figure this out NOW! Get off your asses and use whatever brains you have to get my other half out of the damn dryer!" Everyone froze at this outburst that was so unlike Kurama, at least the Suichii half. Kurama snapped his whip again, causing immediate discussion on finding a solution.  
  
~ An hour later ~ "DAMN IT BRI! WE ARE NOT MELTING THE DRYER!" "The dryer is ev-il! Ev-il, I say!" "Will you shut up?!" "Don't tell her to shut up! You haven't come up with anything! You said we had to hurry!" "Bri! Put that lighter away!" "Where'd you get so many?!?" "Oh! Gimme some! Come on, Bri! Give me one! Pleeeaassssssse?" "Terri! Stop your damn whining!" After some mature discussion, the five decided to take a break and gather their thoughts before they killed each other. Kurama sat in the living room trying to restrain himself from freaking out and just killing the three ningens. Bri, Grey, and Terri all sat in the kitchen. They were honestly trying to think of a solution but the combination of Grey's dyslexia and Bri and Terri's short attention span soon got the best of them. The kitchen was soon filled with laughter as the three were thinking of the fun they could have changing Kurama and Hiei into other objects. Meanwhile, Hiei, being thoroughly annoyed of the baka ningens, set off into the yard to sit and think in his usual tree outside of Kurama's window.  
  
*Those damned idiots. How the hell am I supposed to deal with that? And if Koenma sees all, then why the hell hasn't he stopped this blackmail?! I bet he's in on it. And I don't know how, but I bet that baka Kuwabara's in on it too. He's always at fault. Damned Koenma. Damned Kuwabara. Hey, there's Shori. Maybe she can talk to those girls. Damned girls. Wait a second.* Hiei sat upright and flitted off to Kurama. "Shit. Shori's home."  
  
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"KURAMA! Your mother's home! She's coming up the walkway now!" "Nani?!? Damn it! What're we gonna do?!" Kurama ran into the laundry room, Hiei following close behind. Once there, Hiei did the only thing he could think of, and began tugging on Youko Kurama. With each tug, Youko let out another cry followed by a curse or two, or five.  
  
Shori entered the kitchen, smiling at the three girls who had now, luckily, calmed down. "Ohayo, girls!" "Ohayo! Can we help put away the groceries?" "Why thank you! That'd be lovely." The four set to work and soon Shori excused herself to go find Suichii. The three let her go, blissfully forgetting the current problem Kurama would be facing.  
  
"Suichii! Suichii! Where are you?" Shori's soft voice reached Kurama's sensitive ears, sending the kitsune into a panic. "Hiei! My mother's coming! What're we gonna do?!" He got no answer from the fire demon though, as he was busy pulling on Youko's arms with all of his strength. Well, not all of his strength, as he was trying not to break the dryer. "Damn.it.can't.you.think.of.another.way.Hiei?!" Just then, Shori came into the room smiling and glanced at Hiei. "Why, thank you Hiei! What drove you to do the laundry?" Hiei, at the last second, had picked up the clothes that were lying on the floor and shoved them into the dryer, concealing the youko. Muffled yells and curses began to spill from inside the dryer. Though confusion settled on her, Shori kept her smile as she asked "Suichii, what's that?" Nervous about being put on the spot, his only reply was "N-nothing. I don't hear anything. Do you, Hiei?" The little korime shook his head and shut the dryer door. A loud banging then emitted from the dryer as Bri, Grey, and Terri entered the room. Bri chuckled, "Hark, do I hear the sounds of a pissed-off youko?" "Nani?" Shori's sweet voice came from the side of the room. "Heheheh.nothing. I didn't say anything! Did I say something? No, not me, nope." Terri poked Bri in the side to stop her nervous chuckling and smiled innocently at Shori. Kurama decided to change the subject as quickly as possible. "Mother, why don't we go for a walk?" "That sounds wonderful Suichii, but I have to finish putting away the groceries." "Don't worry about that. Terri, Bri, and I'll finish for you!" "Oh, um, okay. Thank you. Alright Suichii, I'll go get my sneakers on." Before leaving the room, Kurama turned to the others and said, "You better find a way to get him out soon. I can only keep mother busy for so long. Oh, and Grey, you will pay." "But- I wasn't the only one! It's Terri's fault too!" "Right. I forgot. You too, Terri." "Gee, thanks so much, Grey!" Hiei smirked as Grey curled up holding her head from Terri's thwack. The four then left again, forgetting about the youko's air supply, so they could plan his freedom.  
  
~ Five minutes later ~ "I'll be right there Suichii! I just want to get my jacket from the laundry room! I think Hiei put it in the dryer!" "Okay. I'll be waiting at the door!" Kurama's eyes then widened in horror as he remembered what was in the dryer. Kurama ran to the laundry room, calling to Hiei and the others to follow. SMACK! Kurama tried to turn the corner but had lost balance, slipped, and knocked over Bri, who knocked over Terri, who knocked over Grey. Hiei, however, had moved just in time and glanced at the four as he continued running. He chuckled and muttered something about clumsy, oafish humans as he turned the corner into the laundry room. (This comment, of course, was not meant for Kurama. ^^)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Terri: Shori's coming! How should I make them suffer? Heheheh. It'll all be over soon. I promise. Just want to know how I'm doing! 


	4. Hiei Does the LaundryAnd Has a Doll!

Terri: I combined chapters yet again, and this didn't end as smoothly as I wanted it to, but hey, here it is! Hope it isn't too bad! If you like president Bush, sorry in advance.and I don't know about you readers, but I love this chapter's title! Hiei: *pulls out katana* Sorry readers. Terri won't be able to finish this fic. I'm afraid she'll be busy for a while. Terri: OO Why am I always being chased?! *runs* R&R!  
  
*words* = thoughts  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it.  
  
Chapter Four: Hiei Has a Doll?!  
  
Shori was against the wall, eyes wide with fear and confusion, but mostly confusion. "H-Hiei, wa-what IS that?" Kurama was now in the room and answered for him. "What? That's nothing. Let's go, mother." "B-but it was cursing and saying something in a weird language. And it's moving." Grey then burst into the room and trying to be helpful, gave the explanation. "That was- um, a toy. Yea, a toy. That's Hiei's toy! It's a doll! You can program it to say things and, uh, it's set on default right now! Yeah, that's it!" Grey nodded affirmatively and proudly at the story she just told. Hiei, however, was glaring at Grey. *Hn. Even suggesting that I would have a doll. I'm gonna enjoy killing her. Damn humans. All three of them. Especially that one. Hn, wearing me when I was a sock.wait I should be trying to help Kurama right now. I'll deal with them later. * Kurama rolled his eyes at her story. If he ever got a hold of her, he'd-, well, that'd have to wait for now. "But Suichii, it was moving." "Well, the dryer wasn't stopped completely yet. It was slowing down." He put on his best innocence smile and prayed she would accept that answer. She seemed to be fine with it, hesitantly asking Hiei not to put his blow- up dolls in the dryer. Hiei was quite offended by her choice of words, but was quieted by the pleading look on Kurama's face. Kurama finally got Shori to go for a walk, leaving the three attention-deprived girls and slightly homicidal fire demon to deal with getting the pissed-off youko out of the dryer.  
  
When Kurama and Shori left, the three girls burst into laughter once again, with a disturbed and confused Hiei looking on. The insane laughter stopped abruptly as a loud boom echoed in the room. Red smoke began to emit from the dryer, causing everyone to watch in terror and fear that the dryer would soon explode from all of the abuse it had taken today. The dryer gurgled and shook, but all that exploded was Youko's anger. Intense cursing once again filled the room, causing the girls to laugh as they approached the dryer to see the youko's latest attempt at escape.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?! DAMNED PLANT! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! NOW!!! IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING SOON I SWEAR-I'LL RIP OUT YOUR ORGANS AND SHOVE 'EM BACK UP YOUR ASS!!" This just caused the girls to lose it completely. They rolled around on the floor, gasping for breath, tears in their eyes. Hiei even chuckled quietly, but quickly brought himself back to normal.  
  
~ Ten minutes later ~ The laughter had finally quieted down to a chuckle every once in a while, and they were all trying to think of something. After much.discussion.Hiei left to help Kurama keep Shori busy. He'd rather be with Kurama than the 'girls from the deepest, darkest hell'. The girls sat in the living room, putting the final touches on their plan. "You know neither Suichii or Youko will be happy with this." "Yeah, but there's no other way. Besides," Terri grinned mischievously, "you can always threaten to turn them back into socks and send 'em for a ride in the dryer!" Bri laughed, "Or the dishwasher! Or the microwave!" "Anyway- I'll need to turn him back into a sock right? And we don't have to tell him what we're doing?" "Not unless you want to quicken your mauling." "Nani?! My mauling? You think you're getting off easy?! Oh, no! You're gonna get yours! It was your idea too!" "Alright, alright. Let's just get the demon outta the dryer. I hope he's still okay. Bri, you did leave the dryer door open didn't you?" "Um, heheheh.well, ya see, I, uh.no." Bri looked down at the floor, avoiding the eyes of the two. Grey and Terri looked at each other, grabbed Bri, and ran for the laundry room.  
  
Bri got to the room first, and found an unconscious Youko Kurama, crammed in the dryer, but still looking quite peaceful. She chuckled and just couldn't resist the urge to scratch behind his ears. Grey and Terri had come into the room by now and though she tried to explain herself, she found she didn't need to, as she was soon pushed aside as the other two went for their turn to scratch his ears. With that out of their systems, at least for now, they went to work. Grey prepared to turn Youko into a sock once more, Bri went to get the scissors, and Terri found the flashlight.  
  
~ Outside ~ "Hurry up, Suichii. I want to get inside and start dinner. It's nearly 7:00! My, I've never made dinner so late before! I'm sorry, Suichii. I must've lost track of time on our walk. You and Hiei must be so hungry." "Oh that's alright mother. I'm fine. Aren't you, Hiei? Besides, I enjoyed our walk." "Hn. I'm all right, thanks." "See mother? We're fine." "Um, Suichii?" "Yes?" "Aren't you going to unlock the door?" Kurama chuckled nervously and whispered to Hiei, "Go see if it's okay to go in. I'll stall as long as I can." "Suichii?" "Oh, yes. Just a moment. I have to find my keys."  
  
A few minutes later, Kurama and Shori stepped into the kitchen. It was suspiciously quiet, and this alone sent him into a panic, which was soon worsened as a watery explosion was heard. Kurama ran off toward the laundry room to find Grey, Bri, and Terri, soaking wet, coming out. They all began to chuckle as Grey, who was smiling like a mad hobo on crack (which Bri and Terri think is her secret identity on weekends) held up a dripping wet sock- with a hole in it. She set down the sock and in a moment, Youko Kurama was standing in the spot, soaking wet, but smiling at his freedom. "MWUHAHAHAHA! I'M FREE!.I need to kill something." He glared in the direction of the three girls, who had burst into a fit of giggles again. "Uh, Youko.?" "What is it, Suichii?" ".y-your tail.are you all right?" "My tail? What about my tail?" Youko glanced at his butt and found he was missing his tail. "M-my t-t-tail. MY TAIL! DAMN IT!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?! FORGET IT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" "But wait! You're free! We got you out!" Terri began pleading with the youko. Hiei had burst into an uncharacteristic fit of laughter as he watched the youko round on the girls. "Get 'em Youko! Hey, Kurama! Isn't this fun to watch?" The three girls shot Hiei a glare and then continued their attempt to stay alive. Grey was the first to try. "You know, it'll grow back.eventually." "Yeah," Terri chimed in, "you can think of it like a haircut. It can be a fashion statement!" The youko's response to this was a growl and a hand reaching in his hair. Just then, Shori walked in, saw the tall, pale demon, and fainted on the spot. Everyone just stared for a moment, but the silence was soon broken as Kurama ran to her side to make sure she was okay. He confirmed that she would be fine and then looked back at the three girls who were being backed into a corner by the youko. Bri nudged Grey as the three backed up, whispering to her to use her powers and put Youko and Suichii back together before they were killed. In a second, the youko was gone and one Kurama was present once more. The three girls sighed in relief, but soon saw the looks on Kurama and Hiei's faces. In fear for their lives, the three ran out of the room and house, praying that the demons didn't feel like chasing them, but still, for some reason, laughing.  
  
Kurama sighed and began to clean up the mess left by the 'rescue'. Hiei watched for a moment before standing to help. They put Shori on the couch and cleaned up the kitchen and laundry room. A couple of hours later when they were finished cleaning up, they went into the living room to relax. "So what are we supposed to tell my mother?" "You could always use that memory plant to erase a small portion." "No, I need to ask Koenma's permission. Last time I did that without asking, a big mistake was made and spirit world wouldn't let it be changed. I tried to change it, but Koenma had to give them another chance." "What happened?" Hiei asked, eager to hear what mischief Kurama had made. "Bush was elected." Hiei just shook his head, he had never caused anything that bad to happen before. "Well, I guess we could always ask the brat. He should allow it. After all, this is a special case." Kurama chuckled. He knew Hiei meant Koenma by 'the brat', but it was still funny to hear him say it so nonchalantly. "You know, this might be enough to get Koenma to help us with those girls." "Hn. Let's hope so. I don't think I could be held responsible for my actions if I had to deal with them again." Kurama smiled at Hiei and they both relaxed, thinking that that would be the last of the blackmail.  
  
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Terri: Well! I'm DONE! What'd ya think? *Does happy dance* Don't care if ya flame me, but remember, it's me 1st fic, so try to be nice. If you notice, I left a hint of a possibility of a sequel. It's up to you! If you'd like one, tell me! Ja ne! 


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